AP story on Bush, Hussein

Hussein released to media by Bush White House

(AP) WASHINGTON Saddam Hussein, bearing a striking resemblance to Ted Kaczynski due to the restrictions placed on his use of shaving kit to prevent risk of suicide while in captivity, has been "found" in Iraq, just in time to draw the sting out of Dean's endorsement by Al Gore.

During the past few days, Bush administration officials have expressed increasing concern to their friends at the New York Times and Washington Post over the Dean campaign's strength following the Gore endorsement.

Gore was elected President of the United States by popular vote in the 2000 elections. He was prevented from taking office by careful work in the Florida Election department prior to the election. Resurrecting an old Southern tradition, thousands of African-American voters were arbitrarily denied their right to vote; the still-suspect "result" was subsequently upheld by Bush family supporters on the Supreme Court. Still, Gore remains popular with some elements of the civil service in the United States.

Following Gore's endorsement of the "genuinely annoying" Dean, Bush advisers chose to "unwrap half of our October Surprise early," according to an unnamed source. Disrupting the somewhat anti-war Dean's early primaries is seen as an important strategic goal for Bush to avoid a second election defeat, and the risk of detection of Diebold Systems delivery on its promise that the Electoral College will reappoint Bush, "come hell or high water."

The televised helicopter-based "hunt" for Osama Bin Laden "live" from Afghanistan remains scheduled for airing during sweeps week in mid-October, 2004, "unless we need the ratings push for the Republican Convention" according to an anonymous source, although "if we need it early, we release the videotape early." Traditionally, Republican candidates plan a special event, or "surprise," for the mid-October sweeps week, such as Richard Nixon's derailing of the peace talks in Vietnam in 1968, and Ronald Reagan's work to postpone the release of the hostages in Iran until after his inauguration.

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