i am not yet free...

The recent saddening event that occurred in this country has stirred emotion and contemplation in me and I wish to express myself…

Many email messages have recently been circulating regarding a bogus Nostradamus claim as if it is to be believed. Do people actually believe this?

Why do we so often look to others for such daunting answers and truth? Why is it in our conditioning to ingest the words of others without considering its origin and intent…and…any effect it may have? Why do we latch on to sayings or quotes so swiftly?

I have recently read many other email messages rousing support for retaliation and revenge after the recent saddening news.

We've let ourselves become conditioned to swiftly say "that's right" or "amen" or "I agree" or "that's just the way it is" or “that’s just the way it’s always been” or "that's just the way I am" or "I’ve always been this way” or “I was raised to be this way and think these things and believe these things.”

When someone introduces a new concept that we do not yet innerstand, we often label and dismiss it as “alternative” or we categorize it as some other easily disposable label.

I wish to express that I am more activated and inspired by original thought and by the expression of honest human feeling.

It saddens me that so many people latch on to the herd position of retaliation and revenge. It seems many of those enrolled in the predominant religion in this country stand for retaliation and revenge while their primary book encourages compassion. Retaliation is clearly a stark contradiction to Matthew 5:39 and Luke 6:27-29.

It's sad, yet funny!

Many folks, including myself, have stopped watching television and t.v. news and reading the newspaper and listening to the radio because we do not wish to become herded by the tools that distribute fear and enroll others into the herd.

Why does such an expansive manifestation of herd mentality exist? Why are we so easily corralled?

On the day of the tragedy, I received a telephone call regarding what happened. Although I rarely watch television, I actually turned on the t.v. to catch a glimpse. It was horrible. I witnessed the tragedy via the media…and…I witnessed how the media almost immediately began spinning and weaving revenge and retaliation propaganda…along with government leaders. I also witnessed the media telling me how and what to think.

I have not engaged nor looped myself into the news because it upsets me and I feel sad and I sense manipulation. I do not wish to be consumed with such feelings…so…I choose not to engage my mind in so much hatred and revenge and retaliation and fear propaganda.

Victims in this country have been effected by the same cycle of violence as those in other countries. It is sad to believe we drop food and bombs within a country and murder and devastate thousands of humans.

The vast majority of folks in this country will not hear or read about devastation this country has rendered on much of this planet because the mainstream corporate media in this country filters information for the advancement of its agendas.

The mainstream corporate media works to rally people with patriotic and religious and retaliatory propaganda. The mainstream corporate media works to convince folks in this country that they are free…and that others in other countries are not. The mainstream media will not inform folks in this country that most people in other countries are totally opposed to American Imperialism.

I do not stand for the dropping of food and bombs. I think it would be quite a noble deed if we dropped food…but no bombs…

Why does anyone drop bombs or kill anyone for the sake of justice?

Violence evokes violence evokes violence evokes violence. It does not stomp it out!

Trying to detain violence with violence is like trying to contain water with water.

I think the way to have no enemies is…to have no enemies.

I think it is sad yet funny how many folks claim to absorb compassionate words such as those found in Luke 6:27…and…yet support and/or encourage any sort of military action or militia at all. It is totally contradictory to the message in Luke 6:27. It is also totally contradictory to the message in Matthew 5:39.

I began to more deeply witness these contradictions for myself when I was a missionary in Brazil and Venezuela and at a camp in Florida before I became a missionary. I experienced it and I honor the perspective I now have. I am no longer affiliated with the religion I once ingested. I have regurgitated it and I am now able to honestly express what I once believed...with perspective...

The mainstream corporate media has euphemized the term ‘enemy’ with the word ‘adversary’.

Adversary = Enemy

I occasionally get snagged and do not express myself and my stand because I think another may think I consider myself any greater than another. I am not. We are all here to learn and heal and experience and enjoy.

I am sad that many think striking back at anyone with lethal force will make a ‘problem’ go away. Why does anyone die in this world for the sake of revenge or justice? Revenge is not fueled by love…but compassion is.

It is simple to innerstand that violence evokes violence evokes violence evokes violence. It is a cycle. But who am I to make this innerstanding manifest? I can’t make people get this…we already know it deep inside. Innerstanding is found by our own mining for it.

I do not mean to sound condescending nor any greater than another because I am not…yet I feel so urgently compelled to express myself when I witness a glaring stark contradiction or when I witness a lie or when I witness a malicious cycle.

I feel so much more comfortable not living full-throttle within the system I once trudged and marched and battled. I once lived full-throttle within the system as we know it. After graduating from college, I actually traveled to New York to interview with a firm inside one of the twin towers of the World Trade Center. I chose, instead, to live in Los Angeles. I toiled for two years inside one of the largest buildings in downtown L.A. As I often wore a fake smile and nodded in quick agreement, I once believed in and fully trusted our system and modus operandi. I experienced it and I honor the perspective I now have as an artist…but I am no greater than any other…nor am I any less.

I may express things that currently upset others…but I do not do this with malicious intent. I do not expect others to agree nor disagree. I feel so uncomfortable when I hold in my interpretations and feelings. When I express my interpretations and feelings, I feel a sense of relief and healing.

My primary intent in this letter is to express myself…and…perhaps to connect.

I have my experience and my perspective and my interpretations and my stand. Of course we have our differences. I think most of us are aware that if we were all the same, this might be quite a boring place…so…I honor our differences.

I think about freedom a lot…and I think about what nurtures freedom and what binds freedom…and…I sometimes express my thoughts and feelings to others to let them be aware of my experience.

I frequently think about us as a whole. I make an effort to encourage. I wish for us to wake from sleepwalking within a system and cycle that rewards the selling of ourselves. I wish for us to wake from a slumber that rewards the forfeiting of our dreams and passions and talents and wishes. I wish for us to lay down our fears. I wish it so deeply and urgently…

Many of us have been so conditioned. We’ve been conditioned since birth to believe that America is free while we have been conditioned to believe others in other countries are not free. We’ve been conditioned to believe that it is important to have the strongest leading nation on the planet. We’ve been conditioned to believe that one religion is greater than another. We’ve been conditioned to believe that books hold greater truths than ourselves. We’ve been conditioned not to be aware of glaring contradictions within systems of belief. We’ve been conditioned to believe in an apocalypse. We’ve been conditioned to believe that using violence is an appropriate method to curb unwanted behavior. We’ve been conditioned to believe that problems can be solved and re-solved with violent retaliation. We’ve been conditioned to believe that killing another person for the sake of justice is necessary. We’ve been conditioned to believe that competition is necessary for us to prosper. We’ve been conditioned to believe that winning is more important than our experience. We’ve been conditioned to believe that profits are more important than humanitarianism. We’ve been conditioned to believe we must enroll ourselves into a producer/consumer society. We’ve been conditioned to acquire and produce and consume more than we need. We’ve been conditioned to believe that eating animals is necessary. We’ve been conditioned to believe that quick-fix pharmaceuticals will heal us without mining for the root of our ailment. We’ve been conditioned to believe that healers outside ourselves are greater than the healers we are. We’ve been conditioned to believe that reason is greater than intuition. We’ve been conditioned to trust a media that is fueled by the same system and cycle to which we’ve been subject. We’ve been conditioned to believe that censoring our words and our bodies and our art and our creations and the fruits of the earth is necessary and healthy. We’ve been conditioned to live by the clock. We’ve been conditioned to categorize and label people and things. We’ve been conditioned to believe we live in a democracy. We’ve been conditioned to believe in good vs. evil.

I love my life…but I am aware that I am not yet free.

Perhaps one may believe we have more freedom than another who lives in a remote corner of the world. This correlation is relative and a rationalization of that which is not yet complete.

Freedom does not exist in this country…not yet…

I stand in the possibility of being completely free to do as I choose ~ where that choice does not pose a threat to harm nor endanger nor diminish the freedom of anyone outside my body. This is MY body. I have free will…but I do not yet have freedom…

lance